Yesterday morning at the beginning of our worship service I was struck with an emptiness in my soul. Maybe “emptiness” is not the right word. Perhaps a deep unrest would be a better way to describe it. The center of my conviction is my lack of being gripped by the glorious things of God. How can I hear, read, and share such glorious truths as if they are commonplace. The cross of Christ should never be commonplace. Under conviction I wrote this desperate prayer:
“Purge from my heart passionless truth and truthless passion.”
My prayer is simple. I pray that if it is true that God might grip my heart with the truth of it. I want to believe with every fiber of my being the reality of hell. And more than that I want to believe with every fiber of my being the reality of eternity with God Himself. I want to as Piper often says, “see and savor” Jesus Christ. I want to feel the truths of Scripture deeply. Rather than reciting John 3:16 from rote I want to be burdened by it–and burdened deeply. I am tired of passionless Christianity and I am tired of knowing facts but not being gripped by them.
On the other hand I also do not want passion for the sake of passion. That is why I pray that God might purge from my heart truthless passion. There are many lies that run through my heart. I do not want to be passionate about those. I only want to be passionate about Truth.
What does this have to do with ministry? Everything. I do not want to preach a text that does not grip me. Because if I am just “preaching a text’ then I am probably not preaching (at least in the correct way) anyways. I want the Christ that the text reveals to grip me and I want to preach Him with the passion which He deserves.
Yeah I noticed you had quite the troubled face sunday, I guess now I know what the problem was,I made sure to pray for ya, you had me concerned a bit but just a little bit, i dont care about you enough to have deep conceren.
-Ryan