Ed Welch in his book, Shame Interrupted, gives a few helpful questions to ask to try to put words to a shameful event.
What happened?
How do you still carry it with you?
- How do you feel like an outcast?
- How do you feel exposed?
- How do you feel dirty?
- How do you feel worthless, like nothing?
- How have you tried to manage these experiences in the past?
- Has Jesus ever been part of how you managed shame?
How does your shame affect your relationships with other people?
- Whom do you avoid?
- How do you cover up?
- How do you try to make up for being so bad? For example, do you say yes to everyone, like a slave who is never good enough? Do you avoid the Lord as a way to say, “I’m not good enough to come to you yet”?
How does your shame affect your relationship with God?
- Is anger mixed with your sense of unworthiness?
I have found these probing questions very helpful on the path to finding healing for some of the deep seated shame that I feel in my own life. Perhaps you will find them helpful too. I will be reviewing Welch’s book later today. It is one that you ought to purchase.
