How To Deal With Flakes

FLAKES.

They’re “Grrrrrreat!” if they’re a sugar-coated corn-based cereal.
They’re annoying if you need a special shampoo to rid your scalp of them.
They’re a marvelous creation of God if the word is preceded by “snow”.

I digress. (My apologies to those seeking a foolproof dandruff remedy.) We’re dealing with a more serious kind of flakes. I’m talking about the kind of flakes everyone encounters but would rather evade: unreliable people.

Like their cornflake-namesake, unreliable people come in different shapes and sizes. We all use a different standard of measuring flakiness. For some being five minutes late will forever mark you as a flake. Others have a much longer leash. Whatever your standard, have you considered what the Bible says on the matter?

One particular place to look is the story of Paul and John Mark, recorded for us in the book of Acts. Midway through Paul’s first missionary journey, Mark bailed for Jerusalem. He was a flake. Paul continued the mission without him. Later he would lose another colleague, Barnabas, after a dispute about this same John Mark. Barnabas wanted to give him another chance. Paul would have none of it.

From this story, which reads almost like a story fit for Hollywood, I see three biblical principles for dealing with flakes.

1. MOVE ON. (Acts 13:13-14) Though the Holy Spirit in His sovereignty conceals Mark’s motive, the text is clear that Paul simply pressed on without him.

Accept this fact of life: Flakes are a part of life in our fallen world, especially in church. The next time someone fails to fulfill his duty, don’t be quick to excommunicate him. But don’t be slack in finding a more qualified substitute. In the ministry, no one is indispensable. The work of the Lord will go on – with or without Flakey Jake.

2. CUT TIES (Acts 15:36-40) Before Missionary Journey: Part 2, Paul immediately opposes Barnabas’ request to re-invite Mark. The ensuing “sharp disagreement” led to what must have been a painful separation for both parties.

The flake may need to be cut off. Not from fellowship, but from ministry involvement. Remember that not every willing volunteer is automatically qualified to serve. If, for example, the star singer in your choir is at the top of the church’s standings for flakiness (i.e., late to practice, late to the service, and says “Later!” when it’s time to have Bible study), it’s time to intervene.

3. DON’T BURN BRIDGES. (II Timothy 4:11) Timothy was probably shocked to read these words from Paul: “Bring [Mark] with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry” (emphasis added). “Surely, not the same Mark who flaked on you, Paul!” Yes, that Mark.

We often admire Paul for his commitment to sound doctrine and preaching the Word. But how often have we considered what a great example Paul was in forgiving and restoring fellowship and partnership with an estranged brother? Please don’t misunderstand: if someone is persistently unreliable and hampering your ministry’s progress, it behooves you to cut ties. But in cutting ties, make sure not to burn bridges. Little do you know, this person may be useful for ministry later in life!

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At the end of the day, I don’t think there was a secret formula to Paul’s success with flaky Mark. I Corinthians 16:14, “Let all that you do be done in love,” demands that we clothe all three of these points in love.

So now:

When faced with a persistent flake, move on, but do it in love.
If necessary, cut ties with the flake, but do it in love.
Don’t burn bridges. And when the opportunity to restore the relationship arises, be willing and do it in love.

Remember, this biblical principle for dealing with flakes is like any foolproof dandruff remedy: It’s only good if you actually apply it.