Last week, Stephen Altrogge wrote a post on the problem with purity rings. I linked to it this morning because I actually agree with much of what Stephen is saying. But I also think there is another side to this and so I wanted to give a defense for purity rings.
After rightly explaining the weirdness of an individual Christian being married to Jesus, Altrogge shares his most significant problem with purity rings:
But the second, more significant problem, is that the purity ring thrives on the premise of denial of desire. Those who slip the silver ring on their finger are making a pledge of sexual denial and abstinence, which is a good thing. The only problem is that the desire for abstinence can’t hold up in the face of the relentless onslaught of sexual temptation. In other words, it’s not enough to just pledge not to do something.
I agree with him that “if we only tell people to subtract sinful desires, we are setting them up for abject failure”. So if all purity rings did was tell you not to have sex then I think I’d agree. What he is arguing for is that purity rings are not enough to keep one from having sex. And this I agree with.
But I think purity rings—in their best form—are much more than just a reminder to not have sex. For full disclosure my wedding ring, and my wife’s wedding ring, is a combination of her purity ring, and two “pray hard” rings that we bought when we started dating. That “pray hard” was a purity ring of sorts for me—one that reminded me constantly that my relationship with my wife was in the Lord’s hand and that it was my job to reflect Jesus in my love for her.
When I looked down at that ring it wasn’t just a symbol of “don’t have sex” it was a symbol that we truly belonged to another. Purity rings in their best form are simple reminders of that fact. Furthermore, it was something that sparked in me a desire to actively pursue purity—not merely by not doing something but also to be the man God called me to be.
Purity rings and pledge cards can be no different than the Just Say No to Drugs stuff I signed off on when I was in sixth grade. Meaningless. But they can also mean something much more if they are symbol and a reminder of our commitment to Jesus.
So, I say, don’t throw out purity rings just because their often hijacked with legalism. I say preach Jesus, proclaim holiness and righteousness, connect it with the shed blood of Jesus—and then offer a purity ring as a reminder that your body isn’t your own. But it belongs to the One who gives far more joy than the fleeting pleasures of forbidden sex.
After 44 years of marriage, I’ve got to confess that I’d never heard of purity rings until recent years. (When a person is 60 years old, recent years can mean a decade or more.) I haven’t looked into the idea and presentation of the why’s and wherefore’s so I’m just coming from my own perspective.
I did not read the article Mike mentioned, but I am going to weigh in. Take it for what its worth.
If as a pastor I were talking to young people about purity rings I think my opening remarks would begin with Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (ESV). God has a plan for your life and for most, that plan includes someone with whom you will share life in its most intimate ways. Walking by faith is a glorious, precious call to trust God and His plan for your life. Walking by faith is also a deep, abiding commitment to walk with Him. Its seems to me that the purity/promise/prayer ring is owning the assurance of God given faith and rejoicing in the peace, patience, love, joy, forebearance, self-discipline which comes through the Spirit to both claim the prize and be claimed as a prize of the one who is yet unseen, but already loved.
Its that simple. Not to say that its easy, but with Christ before us, the Spirit within us, and the plan of the Father before us, waiting seems to be small part of the commitment made for the joy set before us.
I did take the chance to read Stephen Altrogge’s article and I honestly found his comments on the idea of only the church being the bride of Christ to be odd and unfounded, especially given the reality of personal relationship we have as believers with the bridegroom. So the idea of the bride is both corporate and personal.
With that said, I appreciated Mike’s comments on purity rings. My wife and I during our betrothal period (yes betrothal) gave each other purity rings. They served the purpose that Terry mentioned, namely a physical reminder of our commitment to physical, emotional, and spiritual purity. I think it is a beautiful symbol of what it means to be set apart for one another and furthermore, is a reflection of our own set apart relationship as the church corporate and as individuals for our bridegroom Jesus.
Can such a symbol lead to legalism? Sure as anything can if taken the wrong way. Correctly done and correctly approached, I think purity rings, especially in our day and age of sexual immorality being embraced as the “new norm” is a valuable reminder for young and old of the importance of being set apart for another and all that entails.