Treat Yoself Is Not a Spiritual Discipline

A few years ago a statement from the NBC sitcom went viral. The conversation went down like this:

Tom Haverford: Once a year, Donna and I spend a day treating ourselves. What do we treat ourselves to?

Donna Meagle: Clothes.

Tom Haverford: Treat yoself.

Donna Meagle: Fragrances.

Tom Haverford: Treat yoself.

Donna Meagle: Massages.

Tom Haverford: Treat yoself.

Donna Meagle: Mimosas.

Tom Haverford: Treat yoself.

Donna Meagle: Fine leather goods.

Tom Haverford: Treat yoself!

Donna Meagle: It’s the best day of the year.

Tom Haverford, Donna Meagle: The best day of the year!

This idea resonates with many. Just look at the advertising. I’m told daily that I deserve greatness. Truth is, I’ve been hearing this message since I was old enough to hear messages.

I was told that I deserved A’s in school. And I got awards just for showing up. My cartoon shows told me that I could be anything that I wanted to be. I deserve success. Whilst pounding down McNuggets in the late 80’s I was reassured by Ronald that “I deserve a break today…” The health clinic down the road tells me that I also deserve to be healthy. I deserve an amazing house and a sweet ride. Thank you world, for recognizing what I’ve known all along! I’m amazing simply because I suck air.

So what happens when ministry gets difficult? What happens when I get exhausted from all the sacrifice? What happens when burn out seems to be on the horizon? For many the answer for burn out is to “treat yoself”. Unplug from the church. Take a break from service and sacrifice. What you really need is a season to focus on yourself.

Somewhere along the way we’ve bought into an idea that the answer for busyness is idleness. Rather than saying “yes” to everything we say “no” to most things. We wrongly think that our burn-out was a result of our focusing too much time and energy on others and so we start to focus on ourselves. We replace our “yes” to others with a “yes” to ourselves.

As an introvert I’m especially prone to this temptation. Sunday’s drain me. They drain me because of the labor of preaching but if I’m being honest I’m also drained because of the labor of people. Don’t get me wrong, I love the people in our church. Being introverted doesn’t mean that I don’t like people—it simply means that rather than getting filled up in social settings I get drained. I get filled up by getting alone and reading or writing or other things.

When I’m drained like this I can be tempted to think that what I really need to do is “treat yoself”. And I hate to admit it but for me “treat yoself” can at times mean disengaging from meaningful thoughts about the Lord. I’m not doing things which are innately godless—but I’ll spend a few too many hours playing a video game or watching a TV series. I justify it by saying that I’m just taking care of myself and not burning out.

But here is what I’m learning. We were never meant to be filled up by godless entertainments or pleasures. “Treat yoself” is not a spiritual discipline. This is not saying that I cannot play video games or even that at times I’m not refreshed by doing these things. But there is a type of disengaging which will only leave us more empty. Focusing on myself is not the answer to burn out. Caring for my body and my health isn’t the same thing as checking out.

If a relationship with God wears you out and furthers your burnout something is wrong. Christ is life-giving not joy-sapping. If I feel like I need to escape from the Lord and just focus on myself for awhile I’m believing a handful of lies about the goodness of God and the place where joy is found.

If you must “treat yoself” the only place you’ll truly find satisfaction is in Christ.