I’m not a Barnabas.
Acts 4:36 tells us that Barnabas means, “son of encouragement”. That is definitely not me. Not even a little. If sarcasm and insults were spiritual gifts, I’d have them in spades. Also, I’m a giant hypocrite – on many fronts.
Specifically, I spend a great deal of time trying to teach my children to be thankful people. When we pray for our meals, I attempt to model and encourage them to do more than mindlessly “thank God” for the food. When I see roots of entitlement in the actions of my kids, I do my best to point it out and encourage repentance. I constantly encourage my kids to say, “Thank You”. I want this to be more than mere lip service. I want to instill in them a deep sense of gratitude. We don’t deserve good things from others, and even less so from God. This is why I’m such a hypocrite.
Recently, I’ve begun to recognize the relationship between thankfulness and encouragement. In my interactions with my children, do I point out the negatives, or applaud the positives? Often the answer is the former. If my oldest daughter does the dishes without being asked, but misses a cup on the counter, do I tell her, “Thank you for doing the dishes without being asked”, or do I point out the mistake? I tend towards noticing the negative. In reality, my response betrays something about my heart. I’m not actually thankful for the initiative of my daughter, instead I’m disappointed by her “failure”. In my heart, I feel entitled to perfectly done dishes. I’m not thankful, and therefore there is no room to encourage.
This heart issue stretches beyond my interaction with my family. When I interact with others, I like to think I’m not overly critical, but ought that really be my goal? Should I really be striving to not be “overly” critical? Shouldn’t I be thankful for all of the niceties and blessings that come my way? More than that, shouldn’t I verbally note my thankfulness to them?
It is difficult and awkward for me to tell people that that did a good job or they look nice, or that I enjoy their company. Ultimately that difficulty suggests a sinful attitude toward others. Certainly, I would never admit to expecting “perfection” from those around me, but when I’m honest with myself, that’s what I apparently expect. No, my heart is not thankful, it’s entitled.
Recognizing my faulty attitude, I’m striving to be more of a Barnabas. I’m trying to be more intentional in letting people know that I appreciate them and that I appreciate how God is using them in my life. It is not easy for me. If I (or someone else in a similar situation) gives you an awkward compliment, please take it graciously. It’s likely that we are simply attempting to show our appreciation for God’s blessings in our lives – of which you are one.
