Now when Simon saw that the Spirit was given through the laying on of the apostles’ hands, he offered them money, 19 saying, “Give me this power also, so that anyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.” –Acts 8:18-19
There are quite a few blanks that we have to fill in for Simon’s story. Was his faith legit? Was his repentance real? I lean toward saying that his faith wasn’t legit and his repentance was more akin to that of Judas. But the thing he says which draws Peter’s ire is pretty clear. And it’s also pretty clear that it’s a temptation we pastors face as well.
The biggest problem for Simon is that as the Spirit is being doled out (and I’m slightly uncomfortable with that phrasing) he doesn’t want the Spirit—he wants to be able to dispense the Spirit. And that is where we pastors can be tempted to be just like Simon. It’s what we sometimes call Saturday Night Fever. Those times of desperation when the sermon isn’t coming together and we plead with the Lord to give us something to give to our people.
It’s true that our motivation matters. A shepherd with an empty pantry praying for miracle provision so his sheep don’t starve is different than the guy who is praying for abundance so his neighbor can envy his sheep pen. But I’ll admit that far too often self-interest is what motivates my midnight pleas for assistance. “Lord give me a Word so that I can give it to your people”. That has remnants of Simon’s requests in it.
Consider this great quote by John Owen: “If the Word does not dwell with power in us, it will not pass with power from us.” If I’m struggling with a Simonesque temptation then I’ll hear that quote and pursue the Word dwelling with power within me so that it’ll pass with power from me. That’s a bit more akin to Simon the Magician than Simon the Apostle.
You know there is an ever so subtle difference between wanting my kids to see me as a good dad and wanting to actually be a good dad. It’s the same for us preachers. Likewise there is a world of difference between wanting other to see the Spirit within us and actually having the Spirit dwell within us and working through us. It’s the difference between pursuing authenticity, or pursuing a thing (or Person) as it is, rather than pursuing a shadow of a thing.
We shouldn’t be surprised that a magician was trained in desiring the mere appearance of a thing. His whole life is built around the outer display not matching up to the inner reality. But God help us when we preachers become as magicians.
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