I don’t spend nearly the time on social media I once did (that’s me saying I’m too busy for you chumps). But it seems to me that the #humblebrag has gone the way of the AOL disc. I’m grateful that we have to put up with fewer tweets where folks try to mask their pride with humility.
But this got me to thinking about the heart behind the humblebrag. And it also made me wonder if there are ways in which social media provides an unusual cover for pride. I can be a prideful goober who prides himself on people thinking that I’m humble and thoughtful and Christ-like in my interactions. I’ve been deeply convicted in recent months to be far more authentic—and not in the millennial-loving way of calling selfishness authenticity. I mean that I’ve been convicted that for much of my life I’ve been content to be seen a certain way instead of actually being a certain way. That’s the way of the Pharisee, plain and simple.
I want to share with you a couple of tricksy little areas where I’ve discovered covert pride. Maybe it’s just me on these things. Or maybe you’ll notice some of the same hidden roots of pride.
Hidden Pride in Facebook Groups
I’m in a few different Facebook groups which are mostly for pastors and church leaders. These are helpful in that they provide a private place to share some of the concerns or questions which we have. It’s helpful to talk to others and see what they do in similar situations. But I think it’s also a place where social media provides a unique opportunity for me to take a prideful position. What I mean is that it’s far more humble to seek counsel of an “I could punch you in the face” mentor than to ask a group of mostly anonymous and distant fellow pastors. I can ask a question and sift through the answers and take the ones I like. That’s much different than having an actual flesh and blood mentor where there is cost to the relationship. To not take advice from this guy is much different than just ignoring counsel on my computer screen. That doesn’t cost me a thing. Ignoring the counsel of someone who actually sees my life is a bit different.
So I can convince myself that I’ve done my due diligence and “sought counsel” but what I’ve really done is asked a question to a group of people who will give me a multitude of different answers. I get to pick the one I like. I get to ignore all the others with zero cost. And I can walk away from the whole thing thinking that I’m humble enough to be a question asker.
Hidden Pride in Not Responding
The ability to quickly block and ignore and shut off an argument on social media provides another unique opportunity for masked pride. And this one is also possible (and maybe even more frequent) in face to face conversations. Now it’s possible that refusing to engage another in an argument is a sign of wisdom and arrogance. You very well maybe following Proverbs 26:4. But it might also mean that you are actually not giving someone a chance to respond to your super-certain “gotcha”.
Let’s pretend that I just wrote a post on the errors of dispensationalism. (And because there are so many it’s going to be a lengthy article). Some silly person actually has the audacity to point out a few places where my understanding is lacking. But I realize this is the internet and people have the right (nay, the responsibility) to be complete morons. I can see the flaw in this fellas response to the article. And I realize that his argument doesn’t have a bit of merit, so I keep on scrolling and Proverbs 26 this fool. And this makes me feel all wise and humble because I’m not contributing to that one big food fight we call social media.
But here is what I’ve actually done. By not actually engaging this person in a discussion I’ve not allowed him to rebut my rebuttal. I get to keep my arrogant assumption that my rejoinder has silenced my opponent. But in reality he may actually have a response somewhere in there. But my pride simply has given myself the victory without actually engaging in battle. This isn’t giving a permission slip to engage in fruitless and foolish discussions. We need less of those. But maybe we actually need more thoughtful engagement where humility instead of pride is driving the bus. And humility will seek to actually understand and see if I can find truth in there somewhere, instead of the prideful assumption that this commenter is just one moron in the long line of internet trolls.
Conclusion
I’m still looking at this in my own life. I’d challenge you to do the same. Look for those places where pride is lurking in the shadows and pretending to be humble. As I said earlier I might be alone in this. After all I am the best at being prideful.
Thankfully the Spirit cuts through all the smoke. The gospel frees me up to take off the mask, acknowledge my stupid prideful heart, and actually pursue humility and honesty. And that’s where freedom is at. It’s being captivated and transformed by the gospel that will undo our pride and lead to actual fruitful interactions on social media and in real life.
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