Andy wasn’t really a mechanic. He didn’t really have the answers needed but he pretended like he did and it didn’t turn out so well. We do this same thing when our friends express serious doubts and we find ourselves over our heads. We want to help. Just as Andy had on a mechanic’s uniform and so had expectations upon him, so also when we are known as Christians there is an expectation upon us. And in these times we are tempted to be like Andy Bernard and pretend like we know what we are doing.
Os Guinness has a helpful book called In Two Minds. The book is about the nature of doubt and also has a helpful section for those wanting to help others work through their doubts. Guinness gives four tips for what to do when we find ourselves not able to help a doubting person:
1. If we are unable to help we should say so. Guinness notes that by admitting our inability to help we have “localized the problem”. But if we pretend to know what we are talking about and end up playing the fool, then we are perhaps unwittingly communicating that this is the answer that Christianity has.
2. If we are unable to help we should clarify what this means. What Guinness means here is that we should help the doubter see that this simply means that we do not have an answer at the moment. We are not dismissing these doubts but we are “putting them in the deep-freeze” and bring these doubts out at a different time.
There is a definite place for verification in Christian faith, but if Christianity is true it is not because it is instantly, totally verified at every moment or even at any moment. No human knowledge is of this order of certainty. (230)
3. We should never imply that the answer to doubt will be easy. This does not mean that we have to be so “brutally realistic that we unnerve the poor person in doubt” but it does mean that we acknowledge walking through doubt is likely going to come with some pain. I don’t like having to backtrack. It’s especially frustrating when I have to do it because I’ve been driving 50 miles in the wrong direction. It’s painful to turn around. The pain of this is magnified when we’re dealing with the stuff of real life and admitting that we’ve been wrong in meaningful things.
4. Be careful to steer a course between oversimplifying and overcomplicating your answer. Over simplification is more a mark of our own insecurity than anything else. And overcomplicating something isn’t the evidence of a mind too sharp for the problem but rather a mind too small interacting with too complex of a problem. Be aware of our tendency to oversimplify and to overcomplicate. Just be real. Entrust the person to God.
In my experience I’ve been able to provide the most help when I have a happy confidence in the sovereignty of God. Remembering that God loves the person in front of me far more than I do is helpful. It’s helpful to remember that God does all things for our good—even putting us through the furnace of doubt. This helps to put doubt into perspective. God is up to something.
I’ll close with these words from Guinness:
The danger we face when we have been a help to someone is that we confuse our faith in God with our ability to answer doubts about God. Once we do that, we are not trusting God but our faith in God. (234)
God is big enough to handle your doubt and insecurity. He is also big enough to handle the doubts and insecurity of your friend. Best to love them and be honest with them. Don’t try to be a mechanic when you’re just a paper salesman.
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