His father had never at any time displeased him by asking, “Why have you done thus and so?” 1 Kings 1:6
I was a pretty squirrely teenager. I never did anything too terrible—but it was my mouth that got me into a ton of trouble. Also I’d get a little too rambunctious at times. Usually it didn’t bother me to get in trouble or have to stay after class. But there was one question I absolutely hated.
“Why did you….?”
The youth pastor who sat me aside and asked, “Why were you hanging upside down in that guys tree?”
The principal who asked, “What were you thinking leaving school to get lunch, then placing lunch orders and jacking up the price as a ‘risk fee’?
Those questions really floored me. Because the answer was that I wasn’t thinking. Okay, maybe my lunch skipping enterprise was a bit thought through. But there was something about that question which exposed my heart.
That was a question that David never asked little Adonijah. And it caused him great harm. It’s the Bible’s way of saying that David wasn’t bold enough to challenge the thoughts and actions of his son. We probably shouldn’t speculate as to why. We don’t know if his losing a son because of his sin with Bathsheba impacted him in this area. Or maybe he was so busy governing. We really don’t know why he failed in this area.
We also don’t really know why church discipline stopped being practiced in churches. There has never been an active campaign to dismiss it. Nobody has put together a succinct argument as to why it’s not actually a biblical practice. But it’s just kind of fell out of favor. It’s been quietly excommunicated from many of our churches.
But I wonder if part of the reason why our churches often reflect the entitled and self-centered Adonijah is because we too haven’t lived in a culture of discipline. Nobody would dare challenge the Adonijah among us because we all know that he’ll just go to the church down the street. Just as David couldn’t stomach displeasing Adonijah so also we’ve lost the nerve to displease those among us.
The lack of discipline in Adonijah caused him to keep plotting all the way to his demise. Even his asking for mercy by grabbing the horns of the altar was an act of manipulation. He was using religion to gain sympathy and keep his darling lusts alive. Eventually his lust for power ended in his death. It was a lust that could have perhaps been mortified at a young age, but David never could bring himself to go there. And it cost Adonijah his life.
Yes, the fear of man is a snare. But it doesn’t just catch the scared and timid. It also causes those we should have lovingly displeased to be caught in sin.
Are we willing to displease for the sake of life? Will we be more concerned about gaining our brother or pleasing our brother?
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