I love writing. I have loved blogging. But for awhile now I can’t seem to muster the energy/courage/desire (you pick which word). I think it’s a combination of two things. First, I absolutely loath the online climate we’ve created. Secondly, I absolutely love the local church in which I’m serving.
Long ago I decided that I didn’t want to generate traffic through controversy. I’d prefer to be gentle and reasonable. I’m convinced that gospel truth is best adorned with a gracious disposition. And I think we do far better getting people to adopt and see and own truth themselves than we do by banging notions into people’s heads and getting tepid subscription to our dearly held beliefs.
I don’t do so well in our current climate of yelling at one another. And I think I’m feeling a bit adrift without having much of an online tribe anymore. And when you firmly believe that “whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears” the amount of topic for you to write about is going to shrink. Less and less of these quarrels feel like they are “my own”. And so I stay silent.
Now, I could (and I might) just continue plodding along and writing about the things the Lord puts on my heart. Maybe it’d be helpful to the kingdom to hear the ramblings of a local church pastor about topics unrelated to the daily scream-fest.
But I wrestle with that idea as well. I struggle there because in our climate when you don’t write on whatever controversy is brewing for that day you are either ignored, assumed to be “sub-tweeting”, or considered a coward who is complicit in all that is wrong with the world. In other words even if you choose to not talk about the rage of the day the megaphones are so ear-numbing and attention-grabbing that it’s impossible to speak with any volume about something else.
So, why bother?
I’m still trying to figure that out. And in the mean time I absolutely love our local church. When I see God using us in the soil in which he has planted us it makes me a bit hesitant to spend much of any time in the chaotic waters of social media. By God’s grace, my voice does matter in this local church where he has placed us. And so it’s especially hard to spend time on a voiceless endeavor, scattering seeds indiscriminately and hoping that maybe something will land, whenever in another setting I’m seeing hungry sheep actually desiring to be fed God’s Word. I want to give my time to feeding those I pastor. And I’m finding less and less of a drive for an online presence.
But I still love to write. I still believe that the kingdom can advance through this medium. And I believe God has given me a bit of an audience/platform in which to gently and joyously speak of the excellency of Christ. So it’s hard to walk away from entirely. If God is calling me to write, still, then I’m going to do it. But if my pen is out of ink—even if for a season—I’m content.
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